Walk in Your Purpose
For many years I said, “I hate being the center of attention.” I never looked at it for what it really was; an excuse. I just saw it as my truth. And the truth being, I didn’t like being the center of attention. I preferred being “lowkey” and behind the scenes. Don’t get me wrong, being lowkey isn’t a bad thing, but for me, it became one. I always knew that my talents of singing, writing, and fashion weren’t any that allowed me to put on a mask and go to work. They called me to be seen, whether I liked it or not. But here’s the catch, my personality at the time wouldn’t allow it.
How in the world could I be the center of attention when I couldn’t even give myself the necessary attention? Like most things in life that are worth working towards, the process isn’t easy. Like most who possess artistic abilities, you are often told: “you’re going to be a huge star one day.” And I must say for me, the sound of those words together made me want to faint. It was almost as if I had a self-fulfilling prophecy attached to a never-ending dilemma. Unfortunately, it was always easy for me to cheer, support, and see the purpose in others, but it was impossible for me to see it in myself, so I thought.
That was just it; worthiness. I’m a big advocate of positivity, kindness, and love, and not to toot my own horn, but people love to be around me. I would often be told, “it’s your personality, your kindness, your energy, it’s how you make people feel.” Then it hit me, I have talents that require an immense amount of attention. I have inspired people and have yet to even step in my purpose, so imagine what would happen and how many lives I would change if I applied that towards myself and my talents. In layman’s terms, I’ve experienced unnecessary hard lessons by not walking in my purpose and it is about time I start walking in it and see what happens. It was a LONG process to say the least, I can only compare it to learning how to ride a bike for the first time.
I started off by looking in the mirror and repeating these lines, “You are worthy, you are beautiful, you are talented you are amazing, and being who you were called to be is your tithe back to the universe.” I said it every morning after and every night. Eventually, it became so habitual that I would look in the mirror and not even realize I was speaking life over myself. I then began to journal my ideas and as I saw them written down on paper they began to become as real as I’ve always wanted them to be.
Persistence. Consistency. Understanding. Determination. I had to keep that in mind if I truly wanted to walk in my purpose.
And I was very determined to do that at that point. Not only did I change my perception of self-care and manifestation, but I took things a step further and decided to work towards building my God-given talents.
“It’s not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something.” – Winston S. Duke.
I decided to live for myself and was not disappointed. Life became meaningful again and being who I was called to be finally felt right. There was no me if I didn’t believe in me and there wasn’t hope either. Realizing that I’ve been in my own way was a tough pill to swallow. But it was worth it and accepting that helped me to be the same person that would get out of my own way. I decided to let go and give it a go, and I can honestly say, it was the best decision of my life.